My birthday is coming. I’ve grown to not like my birthday. I’m not old enough to hate birthdays yet I’m not looking forward to it and I think this is just the beginning of dreading my birthday. (I’ll be 29 – Feb 21)
Growing up, birthdays weren’t really a huge deal. I had to BEG my mother for a birthday party with friends. Usually we had homemade cake and it was just family, maybe 1 or 2 friends. We didn’t have party favors or booked party locations…. parties were at home and they weren’t a big deal. (If my son only knew what that meant!)
Once married, my husband had some nice birthday parties for me. After having my son, having a birthday party for myself just didn’t seem important. So we started just having dinner with family and whatever friends could make it. It was low key and a simple plan and I was happy with it.
Last year on my birthday as I looked around the table at my family, I realized my family was only there out of obligation. Maybe they wanted to be there too but it sure as hell didn’t feel that way to me. My sister and brothers were not talking to me but were instead having conversations with my step-dad (jack-ass), who wanted all of the attention. I felt like I had to fight to be in the lime light for even a second.
That evening, I saw that the only people remotely interested in spending time talking and interacting with me, on MY birthday, seemed to be my husband, my son and my mother. As I fought off tears the rest of the evening and felt like shit for requesting these people to join us on my birthday for dinner I began to hate my birthday.
NEVER again. I think that birthdays should only be celebrated with the people who are HAPPY you were born and who want to spend time with you.
My inlaws have now entered the picture. They called my husband and mentioned that they want to come into town on the weekend for MY birthday. PLEASE-Let’s be honest here. My IL’s don’t care a shit less that I was born, they don’t want to celebrate MY birthday – they want to come see their son and grandson.
FINE – I’m glad they want to come see their son and grandson – they should want to. BUT, PLEASE don’t use MY birthday as an excuse for driving 3 hours into town, staying a few hours, and driving 3 hours home. Just come earlier… long before MY birthday and visit them and be honest about it. SAY: “We really miss Josh and want to come for a quick visit” What’s so hard about that? Oh – right – my IL’s are void of emotion.
So, will they be coming in for a visit? How can I tell my husband no? As he’s pointed out, they aren’t coming into town ON MY actual birthday. Why should I care?