NO help in sight

I used to feel sorry for the women who don’t have any family in town to help them. Today, I realized I’m one of them, but in a different way. (I still feel sorry for them and now myself)

My mother and stepdad jackass live 5 minutes away from my house and my sister (20 yrs old) lives 30 minutes away. GOOD – I thought, in case I ever need them, they’re close by. After all, I’m a stay at home mom and 9,112,837,210,937 things can go wrong in a day and I’m sure I WILL need their help at some point. Phew – what a relief! WRONG.

I’m due in 5 months +/- a little and will DEFINITELY need my mom’s help at least, when the baby comes.  (Note to self: share story of Mom’s “help” after 1st born) It’s highly likely I will need help in the months following the 2nd baby’s arrival with entertaining Josh, keeping my sanity and maybe a meal or two. I should add that I hardly ever ask for help from my family or for that matter a-n-y-o-n-e. But after this week, I know I can count more on my friends (The “Clique”) instead of my family.

My husband is out of town this week (left Sunday A.M.) and returns Friday evening. Those of you who have traveling husbands – I COMMEND YOU! I don’t know how you do it. This far I’ve made it through the week by relying on my friends for support and help to get through the day. (play times, lunches, dinners, etc.)

Last week, knowing my limitations, I asked my mom and sister for help. They both work so I asked them to come spend a night with me and help me with Josh ONE evening this week. My sister’s response – straight from my facebook comment section: “Maybe! I will try but I have a lot of stuff going on. Meetings, sponsor stuff, a trip to Austin and of course work stuff. I’ll let you know.” My mom couldn’t be bothered with me until after Tuesday due to work related stuff. FINE. I’ll fucking do it all by myself. My family has never helped me – why would I have even imagined that this time would be any different?!?!?!?

Today was beyond impossible. Josh was terrorizing me and even bit me. Whatever. After more tantrums that I can count on 2 hands and no help in sight, I’m feeling abandoned. Sure I suppose its a bit dramatic to say “abandoned”, because my husband will be back home in 2 days, but damn – I’m on day 4 of a 6 day hostage situation. And the demands are running high and my patience is running low.

Time to go cuss to myself in a hot shower and then cry myself to sleep.

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