Before anyone goes ballistic on me for this post – let me say I AM PRO BREAST FEEDING!!!!!
I nursed my first born for 9 months – which was a HUGE accomplishment to me. I struggled those 9 months and almost stopped when he was 6 months. But I pushed on and did really well, despite the fact that I was pretty much sleep deprived the entire 9 months.
Tonight, when I took off my bra that holds my over abundant boobs (and not in a good way) – I ACHED and HURT like a bitch. When I roll over in bed in the middle of the night, I hurt as my boobs move from one armit to the other. I swear blood is going to shoot out of my on fire boobs.
This brings me to dreading nursing this baby due in 3+ months! When my first born latched on (after drugs wore off) I thought I HAD to be doing something wrong because it hurt like a bitch. No one thought to tell me this before the baby. I hired a lactation consultant, who came by and said I was doing fine. Two weeks later, the hurting subsided and I guess my boobing tips had toughened up. I know the pain does pass and the benefits outweigh the pain, etc.
I WANT to nurse but I also don’t want to. I’ve already mentally committed to nursing our little girl (#2) for 6 weeks and if all goes soooo well then I’ll extend it a couple more weeks and try to stick with it. I just hope I don’t feel guilty for not doing it longer this time. I simply can not function with the lack of sleep I did with #1 this time around – I was a CRAZY person. I was unable to find ways for my husband to help with 3 am feedings when I was nursing – all leading me to even crazier depths. I felt alone when I nursed though I also felt a bond with my son and cherish that time we had together.
There are pros and cons and I KNOW ( I really do) that the pros outweigh the cons.
Still – I sit here dreading the pain.