I’m already dreading nursing

Before anyone goes ballistic on me for this post – let me say I AM PRO BREAST FEEDING!!!!!

I nursed my first born for 9 months – which was a HUGE accomplishment to me. I struggled those 9 months and almost stopped when he was 6 months. But I pushed on and did really well, despite the fact that I was pretty much sleep deprived the entire 9 months.

Tonight, when I took off my bra that holds my over abundant boobs (and not in a good way) – I ACHED and HURT like a bitch. When I roll over in bed in the middle of the night,  I hurt as my boobs move from one armit to the other. I swear blood is going to shoot out of my on fire boobs.

This brings me to dreading nursing this baby due in 3+ months! When my first born latched on (after drugs wore off) I thought I HAD to be doing something wrong because it hurt like a bitch. No one thought to tell me this before the baby. I hired a lactation consultant, who came by and said I was doing fine. Two weeks later, the hurting subsided and I guess my boobing tips had toughened up. I know the pain does pass and the benefits outweigh the pain, etc. 

I WANT to nurse but I also don’t want to. I’ve already mentally committed to nursing our little girl (#2) for 6 weeks and if all goes soooo well then I’ll extend it a couple more weeks and try to stick with it. I just hope I don’t feel guilty for not doing it longer this time. I simply can not function with the lack of sleep I did with #1 this time around – I was a CRAZY person. I was unable to find ways for my husband to help with 3 am feedings when I was nursing – all leading me to even crazier depths. I felt alone when I nursed though I also felt a bond with my son and cherish that time we had together.

There are pros and cons and I KNOW ( I really do) that the pros outweigh the cons.
Still – I sit here dreading the pain.


2 responses to “I’m already dreading nursing

  1. My SIL had a similar experience to yours w/her first (and the lactation person at the hospital said she was nursing right, but she found out much later that she wasn’t [something slightly off — not easily visible, like her baby’s tongue position or something]). She cried nearly every feeding, and rejoiced when her daughter weaned at 11 months. Her 2nd experience was *not* like that. She may have had some minor discomfort, but she gladly nursed him until he was ready to give it up. So, it does not have to be this way.

    My midwife (first pregnancy) suggested that I briskly rub my nipples with a towel when I got out of the shower, to help toughen them up, in the later stages of pregnancy. I did it the first time, but didn’t my 2nd pregnancy, and (to be honest) couldn’t tell any difference — there was no discomfort either time. But it might help you.

  2. Thank you for that. That gives me some hope that this experience won’t be like the last. Truly, I think the bulk of my discomfort was in the first 3 to 4 weeks, but hopefully it won’t happen like that this time.

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