After we had our first child, we talked briefly about writing a will. When it got to the most important detail – who would we want as a guardian of our child – we could not decide. The options just weren’t good at all. Now, with #2 on the way, we are reexamining the question and trying to find a good answer.
I have 2 brothers and a sister as well my mother. My husband has his parents and a sister. Still we narrowed it down to one choice – easily and I just wonder what other people do.
First those voted off the island:
- My mother and jackass step-dad – they are getting older and have raised 4 kids – so I consider them out of the running since they are only going to get older and probably feel very DONE with child rearing.
- My husband’s parents – much older than my parents+chronic health problems+not financially secure = not over my dead body.
- My sister – a former drug and alcohol abuser, irresponsible and young, can barely pay the bills and has no plans for the future.
- My littlest brother – 16. years. old. Nuff said.
- My husband’s sister – lives day to day, can not manage money, doesn’t have a real job, is 35+ and still lives off her parents in a house that they built for her. – UM no.
Now, meet the survivor of the island:
My eldest brother. 1.5 years younger than me. He is married to a bitch and their marriage has been on and off the rocks since well, since before the wedding. Currently they are doing well and making things work. He’s going to finish school soon, has a stable job, has some similar ideas about parenting and loves kids.
What’s changed from 3+ years ago when we first approached the topic?
Well, my brother has. He’s matured some, gotten his feet on solid ground, isn’t partying like he once did and seems to have his act together.
Tomorrow I’m taking him to lunch to discuss this proposition and I sorta dread the convo. I’m wondering – how do I pop the question? Hey – so if Jason and I both kick the bucket at the same time, will you take my kids??? And how do I tell him that I want him to have sole custody? I don’t want the kids going to both my brother and his wife – seeing as how she’d just use the kids as a bargaining chip in a divorce.
Also – why am I craving a Snickers right before my Glucose test tomorrow?